The “boss” again. Hopefully, this will be the last time I write about him. The purpose of this post is to give you the conclusion of the incident I told you about a few days ago.
As I said when I ended, the way I was feeling at the end of that fateful Saturday, Jesus would have had to come down off the cross himself to tell me to answer that idiot’s email. Well…Jesus came down off the cross and told me to answer that idiot’s email.
Sigh. Jesus can be so inconvenient to my righteous indignation.
As I said, the internet was down until some time in the middle of the night on the same afternoon that I should have had that Skype meeting with the “boss”. When I awoke, the first thing that happened before I even rolled over and opened my eyes properly was the Holy Spirit saying to me, “Kristine, it’s time to answer that email.”
I didn’t want to. People, you know I didn’t want to. I asked the Holy Spirit all through my morning shower if it was really Him telling me to do this because I would totally understand if I was getting my spiritual signals crossed. But I knew it was Him. The problem was, I just didn’t want to back down. But I realised that a part of wisdom in war is to choose my battles, plus God has never steered me wrong and nothing good ever comes of it when I don’t do what He says. So I sucked it up and decided to answer the email.
However, that day, Sunday, was my day off and A and I had plans to leave the house early and hit the mall so I decided that I would answer the email when I got back in the evening.
So that’s what I did. I walked into the house, grabbed my laptop and answered his email. Two minutes later, he replied to say he had already sent another email on the issue…oh, and he also basically called me a liar because someone else in the house told him that there was “enough internet” the day before to send emails. What the heck is “enough internet”??
I replied that by now he should know that I am not a liar and that he could ask any of 3 other persons (who I named) if the internet had been down, as none of us could work. Meanwhile, I checked his other email and saw that he had decided to remove me from the hiring team because he didn’t trust my judgement…or whatever.
Oh, no! Oh, my goodness! I’m so hurt! Tears! Weeping! Wailing! Gnashing of teeth!
Oh, please. Dude, whatever. Honestly, I didn’t even read the email properly because…why? I didn’t even care anymore.
He replied…again! Always has to have the last word. He tried to back down from calling me a liar and said we needed to still have a Skype the next day and hopefully I can stop taking things so personally.
I responded that I take it very personally when someone tells me I have no common sense and am unprofessional but that I would be available for Skype the next day as long as the internet was up.
The next day, the internet was up and I went online right on time. He immediately came at me aggressively and told me to convince him that I could work with the other volunteers in the centre and other online teams without wasting his time like I did for the entire previous week.
People, I know that the Holy Spirit is real and He did not fail me that day. I expected to be offended and affronted but a calm washed over me and I opened my mouth to speak without even knowing what I was about to say. “I can assure you 100% that you will never have to worry about me disrupting your week again or about me being able to work with any team in this organisation. In fact, I sincerely apologise for wasting your time last week and for disrupting anything in here. You will certainly never have that concern because me again.” What?? What did I say?? Lord, what did you put in my mouth?!?!
Seriously, I was in shock at myself for having said that. But I meant every word.
It felt like I meant every word because I absolutely had no intention of carrying on the battle with him – I care about my students but I don’t care enough about this organisation to keep fighting a fight that has no value to me. There’s another reality too. I meant every word because I know that God is unfolding a different plan from any I ever expected when I came here and my apology was a part of seeing His plan through. I’ve seen a glimpse of the plan and I’ll tell you about it in a few weeks at a more appropriate time. Obviously, God could have made another way for His plan to unfold but apparently He wants to use this road so who am I to argue? This is not my show, it’s His; I’m just playing my part according to His direction.
So, that’s the end of that war. I know he felt like he won and in all honesty, I would care about that if I was still caught up in my feelings. But whether or not he thinks he won is not my concern. I won’t skirmish with this enemy anymore because he’s a distraction from the real plan and I can’t afford distractions right now because that’s counterproductive. I’ll get my work done, as I always do – under God’s supervision and guidance. Because that glimpse I caught of where this seems to be headed tells me that it’s gonna be a great ride.